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By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott.
Many men who are interested in swinging seek advice for introducing their wives into the lifestyle. While swinging is a wonderful extracurricular activity, and the allure of multiple partners can be rather tempting, you must tread with caution. This is a treacherous method of entering the lifestyle, knowing that your partner may not be up to it quite yet.
Please do not push your partner into doing anything she is not comfortable doing.
This will only cause problems in your relationship. If you wish to get her interested, sit down and talk to her about your desires. Show her a lifestyle website or a website of a local swing club. Explain to her that you can start on a couples dating site and see what happens. If she shows interest, great, but take it very slowly. You can't expect her to go from posting an ad to meeting a couple for full swap.
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Ask her if she would like to go to a club just to watch sometime, and take small steps from there accordingly. As excited as you may be about swinging, it is best to step back and ascertain the best way for you both to enter the lifestyle comfortably.
Your partner may require extensive time and exposure to feel at ease with this idea. Remember that many people hold misconceptions about the lifestyle and may need this time and experience to help clear up misunderstandings. If you both do consider taking it further than online exploration, try attending a pressure-free event, such as a meet and greet, and make it clear that neither one of you is expected to do anything at all.
This way, your experience will be much less intimidating and she will be more inclined to explore further. If all goes well the first time then have her decide which event she might like to try the next time.
Your partner may warm up to the lifestyle a bit more if she enjoys the parties and the company, realizing that the stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle are often contrived. Attending lifestyle events serves many purposes for first-timers, or those who are otherwise timid of the initial experience.
As a rule, she will be able to see firsthand the wonderful people that are involved in this, and understand that lifestylers are not depraved sexual predators, nor are they devoid of morals or couth. Many who attend a lifestyle event may see that these are just regular people letting loose. Lifestylers are a microcosm of society, and come from all walks of life.
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If you both opt to venture out to a function for the first time, don't expect your mate to do anything with anybody. Do not even allude to the possibility of such activity.
This experience in and of itself will be enough of a sensory overload, without one's partner expressing his desire for action. Simply allow her to take it all in, and then discuss her reactions later. If this is done the right way, she may want more. After all, this was the initial goal. If your mate expresses that she is just not interested, leave it at that. Tell her that if she would like to entertain the possibility, she can bring it up when she's ready. Do not push!
It will only make her feel insecure and lead her to wonder why you want to do this so badly. Women are delicate creatures sometimes, and tend to analyze men's motives. Guys, the best way to make her feel secure in entering the lifestyle is to reassure her that you love her, that she's beautiful, and that you are doing this not to find something better than her, but to enhance your already wonderful love life.
If she doesn't hear this reassurance regularly, she will most likely assume that she just isn't enough for you, and that is why you feel the desire to swing. It is perfectly healthy for one or both of you to determine that your relationship isn't quite ready to handle swinging yet.
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Ladies, the same goes for you if you are trying to involve your partner in this. Remember that even if the lifestyle isn't in your future, you still have each other, and that should be enough. Are you a club owner? Click on your state to create your FREE club link!
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